


The Professor

by 2016Daisy



Category: Barry - Fandom, Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader Barry, Bill Hader SNL, BillHader, IT (Movies - Muschietti), SNL - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2016Daisy/pseuds/2016Daisy
Summary: Jamie Andrews, a senior studying Film at UCLA, finds herself in conflict during her last year of college. When her first day back comes with the news that her favorite professor had been replaced with someone new, she struggles to deal with the sudden change.The story follows Andrews' determination to make her final year as fulfilling as possible while also dealing with the growing curiosity of Professor Hader and his undeniable need to prove himself as a quality teacher and mentor.Frequent Circumstances that bring them together gives both participants something to think about and many internal battles to be fought as the year unfolds.
Relationships: Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

_Song of the chapter: "Confused" - Yukon Blonde_ _Song_

A film studies degree requires intense knowledge of the world's most renowned classic films. It’s the kind of thing that had pulled Jamie Andrews in the second she decided to further her studies on the topic. The passion had lived inside her since the age of three. It was the small moments when her father brought home rented movies. Movies he knew she would enjoy and believed it was essential for her to see the same kind of artwork he had found himself drawn to when he was a kid. All of the things that built her up to this moment.

Her senior year at UCLA was starting. She was almost there at the finish line and everything seemed to be falling into place. She had done everything according to plan. The summer brought an immense amount of success through an internship with Paramount. It wasn’t much, she brought coffee and ran errands, but every once in a while she got to shadow her superiors in a writing room or watch a real director at work. Truthfully, after the events of the summer, she was tired.

Excited, but tired.

As Monday rolled around, Jamie took the first two classes of the day in her stride. Professors whom she had already known and had watched her grow from her freshman year greeted the class with warm welcomes and a promise to make this semester the best one yet.

_They say this every year though._

It wasn’t until two o’clock came along when Jamie was set to take her film theory class. It was her last class of the day with her favorite professor since she first stepped into the school itself. Being a senior meant more challenging classes, but ultimately the classes she knew she would be able to take advantage of and learn the most from.

So when she walked into the small lecture hall and was met with a tall, stress-ridden, blue-eyed man who she did not recognize in the slightest, a small feeling of frustration and confusion consumed her.

She paused and looked around the room. The lecture hall was one of the smaller ones in the school. The upperclassmen classes usually contained the least amount of students to ensure a more personal experience. It held a little over thirty compared to others that were up towards the seventies.

Jamie gazed across the aisles looking for familiar faces, and when she found one, she rushed over with one burning question in her mind.

“Daniel, where is Dr. Slater?”

Jamie’s green eyes darted between Daniel and the unknown lecturer with an alertness that could only be explained by her distaste in change. Especially if that change could result in the education of a beloved career choice being sabotaged. Daniel, an acquaintance she had met only a year ago smiled at her sudden entrance.

“Well, first of all… Hi Jamie, how was your summer?”

There was a coy smile that matched the playfulness in his eyes. He suppressed a laugh as he noted the clear panic in her eyes.

“My summer was fine, you know how my summer was.”

“That, I do.”

Jamie huffed, annoyed. “Okay, so… where is Dr. Slater?”

Daniel looked towards the new professor setting up the presentation for the day and back to the brunette staring back at him.

“I heard she left in June. Gave everyone two months to find someone to take her place.”

Dr. Slater was an amazing professor. There were many reasons why the woman was her favorite out of all the faculty and staff that could show her the ins and outs of film. She was the woman who encouraged her to apply for the internship, and always invited her to think outside of the box.

Her lectures were fun and informative. Rather than going on and on while reading off of a PowerPoint, Dr. Slater was the type of woman to get her hands dirty. Everyone loved her.

Students were able to be more creative and implement their critiques without the fear of being judged. She was a mentor and almost a dear friend to Jamie in general.

“For the record, I heard that it was a sudden thing. There was a rumor that it might have had something to do with family? All I know is that she moved back home.” Daniel added.

For Jamie, this added the first wrench into her plan for a good school year. She took Film Theory specifically to study under Dr. Slater. Last year she had made the hard class sound so interesting and full of life. The only reason why the class was even worth it was because of Dr. Slater. Of course, Jamie still had to take the class regardless, but Dr. Slater easily made it seem like it could be her first choice if a choice were the case.

“She didn’t even mention it… not a single email.” Frustration was written all over Jamie’s face and Daniel noticed it immediately.

“I’m bummed out too, but who knows… maybe this guy is even better than Dr. Slater?”

Jamie rolled her eyes.

“Doubtful, it’s really hard to top Slater.”

One thing that Jamie had forgotten about the room was how easily sound carried to the front.

This wasn’t the first time today that he had overheard a student's displeasure in the new replacement. However he didn’t care, he had the spot now. All he could do was smile discreetly while the conversations continued.

Once he was certain that everyone was there and the time had reached its limit, the professor introduced himself.

“Good afternoon, I am Mr. Hader. You can call me Professor Hader, or Mr. Hader, I do not care as long as it is not anything other than that.”

His voice started louder than what he had wanted, but he was sure that it was assertive enough to catch the students' attention, and hopefully gain their respect.

“I understand that I am new, none of you know who I am. But I can assure you that I am qualified to teach you everything you need to know about film theory.”

Professor Hader eyed the room. He noted the faces he suspected wouldn’t give a damn about who he was. He labeled them as the ones who are here to get the credits and only the credits.

Then he watched the more eager faces. The ones he knew he’d be able to get some sort of liking out of them.

And finally, he noticed those whose loyalty remained with Dr. Slater and would probably be slow to warm up to him. Either way, he didn’t care as much.

In this profession, he did care about his students deeply. He wanted success for every one of them. This was a major that he held close to his heart and he enjoys ranting about the subject to those who clearly understand what he is talking about and are just as excited about the topic as he is.

He cares about his students, but he doesn’t care if they like him or not.

“Now, if you will, I have passed out the syllabus at the end of the aisles. Please pass this to your peers and we will begin going over this semesters requirements.”

At that moment, Professor Hader turned his gaze to Jamie Andrews. He could sense the tension from across the room. She wasn’t glaring, but clearly, she wasn’t happy he was there. She was feeling him out.

Curiosity hovered over both of them. Professor Hader even more so. Both of them made direct eye contact just for a moment.

And then they both looked away.


	2. Chapter 2

##  _This chapters song: “Off She Goes” - Bad Suns_

Within the third week of school, classes were beginning to run a steady pace. Small projects were making their way into discussions and talk of the first test assessments of the season began to rise. Jamie had spent these weeks making plans for the semester, writing down important dates in her planner.

Everything needed to be concise and organized. However, there were still many things that needed to be done. She still had unusual free time, but the problem seemed to stem itself from the absence of a particular extracurricular activity.

“Film Club,” Jamie said sternly.

Sitting across another professor in his dim-lit office that was practically covered with books. Books about scene development and setting up plot lines were scattered on the floor and opened on his desk. Professor Han stared at Jamie considering for a moment about what exactly she was trying to ask.

“I understand your frustration, Miss Andrews, I do. We were all surprised by Dr. Slater's sudden departure. However, Dr. Slater simply had a bit more time than the rest of us. I cannot sacrifice the little extra time I have to oversee this club.”

Jamie’s face fell completely. He wasn’t even the first professor she had gone to for help. Of course, all were sympathetic because many admired her work ethic and determination. She simply was one of the staff’s favorite students. Unfortunately, being a favorite didn’t grant her any luck whatsoever.

“But this club has been so beneficial for so many students in this school. There has to be someone who can act as an advisor? Please, this is the third ‘No’ that I have gotten today.”

Professor Han gave what Jamie could only assume was a look of pure pity. She hated begging, but technically, even though the original faculty advisor for the club had left, she was still the president. She couldn’t just give up on a position that gave her something to work for.

Truthfully, she had almost forgotten about it due to the stress of the first few weeks, but five different students have already called and messaged her at a constant about whether the club was going to be a thing. It was a great social accommodation and was one of the main reasons why she found her internship over the summer as well as many of her closest friends.

“I’m sorry Jamie. But I’m going to have to say no as well.”

At that point, she had figured that she had said enough. There was only so much she could say to convince him. Jamie thanked him and went on her way. She was going to be late to Hader’s class, so it was better to leave anyway.

It was just a quick strut downstairs in the two-story film building. Hader’s lecture hall was a bit further back and she was already five minutes late. Jamie still hadn’t quite figured out if she liked the way Professor Hader was teaching the class. Still loyal to Dr. Slater, Jamie didn’t think she was ever going to let go of the tiny disappointment of having to take the class without the beloved professor she had before.

Jamie attempted to quietly sneak into the hall. Her seat was usually in the third row near the front, but taking the time to walk further would only draw more attention to her. But once she had walked in, she had let the door slip from her hand causing the slam to turn everyone's heads back towards her. At that moment she was visibly apologetic. Still, in an attempt to lessen the blow, Jamie took a seat in the back row.

Professor Hader was in the middle of an explanation of a movie they had discussed in his last class before the chaos, so when Jamie attempted to sit down in the back he stopped completely and stared at her for a moment before his voice rang directly to her.

“No, it’s okay Miss Andrews. You can get back to your usual spot. I’ll wait.”

Jamie froze in place. She figured he would know her by name at this point, but being called out in front of the whole class made her incredibly uneasy. Clearly, this wasn’t a thing that happened often. She slowly got up, and made her way to the third row next to Daniel and Kacey, hardly looking at the teacher.

She couldn’t tell if he sounded angry or not, but when she glanced up at him finally, Hader only gave her a small smile and carried on with his lecture.

Daniel and Kacey glared over at her, sharing looks of concern, but overall the feeling passed about halfway through.

Hader sensed the tension coming from Jamie and spent the majority of his lecture glancing back at her. Anxiety slowly crept upon him at that moment realizing that he might have sounded harsher than he had wanted to and made a mental note to address it later.

When class finally did end, Jamie was ready to go, but at that moment she heard his voice call her name.

“Can I speak to you for a second?”

Those around her gave Jamie a panicked look. Hader didn’t seem like a hard ass, but since he was new there was no telling how he really was. They only had three weeks under their belts and it was three days a week.

Jamie quietly walked to the front next to his desk and watched as her professor waited until most of the class was gone.

“I hope you know… I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”

He paused while surprise showed itself on Jamie’s face.

“I just wanted you to be able to sit in your usual spot. You didn’t have to sit in the back, it wouldn’t have been an issue. I would have waited until you were settled.” He added with a slight chuckle.

Jamie stared at him for a second. Unsure how to read him, and unsure how to take this sudden thoughtfulness and kindness.

“Sorry, sir.” She said quietly.

Hader cringed at the “sir” comment immediately.

“You don’t have to call me sir either. I’m a chill dude, I understand people are late. Just don’t make it a habit.” He beamed a friendly smile towards her.

Out of all the things she might have let cross her mind, she didn’t expect him to seem so… genuine. It was that moment in particular that put a lightbulb over her head.

Mustering all the courage and hope that maybe Professor Hader would like to take Dr. Slater’s place, Jamie relaxed immediately. He was a friend, not a foe.

_Maybe._

“Professor Hader, are you aware that Dr. Slater acted as the faculty advisor for the film club here?”

Hader raised an eyebrow, staring down at Jamie’s newly confident form.

“I haven’t. Why?” He had to admit he was immediately intrigued. This might be the first time she even showed any interest in saying one word to him since the first day of classes.

Jamie smiled. She could already tell that she wasn’t out of luck after all. She still wasn’t sure if this new intruder could be someone that she would want to have overseeing something so dear to her, but sometimes sacrifices need to be made.

“Well, since she left, our club has needed an advisor. We can’t meet without one… or we could, but it kind of goes against the rules here.”

The words came out quicker than she wanted, but they came out clear nonetheless.

Hader stood for a moment and crossed his arms, considering the intentions behind the favor he knew he was about to be asked.

“And you want me to be the new advisor, I’m guessing?”

Suddenly the true playful attitude showed itself through her.

“Well, you already replaced her in all her classes. Might as well take this on too?”

At the moment there was a mutual understanding there that hadn’t been there before. Jamie was beginning to feel more comfortable in his presence, and Hader was starting to see that there was more than meets the eye when it came to his newly acquired student.

Hader smiled in a teasing manner.

“Why don’t you just break the rules? Meet without one.”

The look of disapproval on her face said everything he needed to know.

“Got it, not a rule breaker huh?”

Jamie nodded her head. Finally, Professor Hader gave in.

“Fine, I guess you have given me no choice at this point. I’m already guilted in.”

Even though his words seemed to suggest reluctance, everything in his body showed that he was fully interested in the idea.

Jamie immediately felt all the tension and worry in her body release, and soon it was replaced with excitement.

“Perfect! I can give you the details of everything at the next class, and I’ll let the department head know I found a new advisor. Thank you!” Jamie exclaimed as she began to reach for her things.

Hader couldn’t help but smile at the sudden change of energy in the air. The second she was able to get someone to do what she wanted, it was like she was a brand new person. He watched as she gathered her things and said her goodbyes heading towards the exit.

Before she left, Hader spoke one last time.

“Hey, but if you’re late to the next class, I might change my mind!”

He was only met with a bright smile and a look that showed her playful disappointment in him thinking her being late was a regular thing.


	3. Chapter 3

##  _Song: “Changes” - Langhorne Slim, The Law_

There was an extra pep in Jamie’s step that Friday. For starters, it was the last day of the week before the weekend, and in her right hand, a binder full of previous club activities and plans were ready to be given to Professor Hader. For most of the week, there was a daring feeling that she had let her classmates down. In a leadership position, she had the habit of taking most of the blame for anything that could have gone wrong in the organization even though most of it was out of her hands.

There was still some worry about how it could go. The club met every Tuesday and included activities that ranged from movie nights, fundraisers, and career workshops. Last year, Dr. Slater managed to get screenwriters from a popular TV show to speak with the group via Skype, and of course, Jamie was sat front row taking notes on how to break into the business itself.

The club had about twenty-six people on the regular. Every once in a while, however, the occasional observers would come in and participate in the more unique activities that were planned every week. The club always had a loyal following. Most were writers and film nerds. Sometimes they would get some from the theatre crowd trying to get connections that would be beneficial in the later years if needed.

For Jamie, She wanted to be an award-winning director one day. Writing wouldn’t be as bad, but her ambitious mind only allowed her to reach higher in the field. She wanted to bring her vision out from the pages and into the set, and talk on interviews about why she had selected that color scheme, or why she decided to have the actors do this instead of that. The ambition must have come from her father.

Together, the two of them would watch movies, sharing popcorn, and discussing scenes they admired the most. She swore that she could listen to him rant about Wes Anderson’s take on modern-day nostalgia for hours on end. He would tell her about a hundred times a day that _she_ could do something like that.

_“You are smarter and more creative than half of these guys. I think you could beat them in a landslide, hands down”_ he’d tell her.

Sometimes she didn’t believe she was capable of something so extraordinary, but when Peter Andrews would tell her she could, then that was that. Of course she was capable. Her father would never lie to her.

Walking into class, Professor Hader noticed the one-inch binder under her arm. He immediately knew this had something to do with the club. She was a type-A person and probably had planners and binders littered everywhere in her home. Except instead of piled in random places, it was strategic and organized.

When he caught her eye there was no smile on her end. She only glanced for a moment before she turned to her red-headed classmate he only assumed was a closer acquaintance considering how much they talked in between slides in class.

The majority of the class was pretty normal. He brushed up on a paper that was due one week from today. The class wasn’t listening as much as they usually were and he blamed that on Friday and the activities of the weekend that most of the students were eager to attend.

Hader himself didn’t have a lot of plans. In a new area, he hardly knew anyone at all aside from newly made colleagues in the department. If anything he was a hermit that stayed in and watched movies and crime-related TV shows which made his occupation easier.

It wasn’t fun to have to move to a brand new area. Unfortunately, he felt like he didn’t have much of a choice. During lectures, he would glance at the faint tan line where his wedding ring used to be. He was fine for the most part and didn’t think about it often, but when he did, he wondered how he had even ended up here.

“I’ll let you guys out ten minutes early today. Just make sure you start your paper early and don’t wait until the last minute!” He exclaimed even louder as he got to the end of his sentence as the group immediately put their stuff away once he revealed that it was time to leave.

Students who didn’t look intrigued the entire time finally had smiles on their faces and walked out faster than they had the entire week.

As Professor Hader was putting away his things, Jamie’s presence was felt immediately the second she stood behind him waiting.

Turning around, he gathered the sight in front of him. Jamie had the lavender binder laid out on the desk. Papers laid out on the side and old itineraries clasped into the three rings. His eyed widened as he stared down at the overload of information he was about to have to contain. For a split second, he almost regretted telling her "yes" but quickly the feeling went away. For once it was nice to see a student who was just as passionate about film as he was.

“You been busy?” He asked.

His wide blue eyes matched hers as she stared back in determination. For a moment she seemed shy and gazed quickly across some of the material as if trying to figure out what to get to first.

“This is some old stuff I found. Previous financial statements and fundraiser plans we had made. I figured it would help to know some of the things we did in the past.”

He picked up a few of the pages and glanced over them. Some of the stuff was extremely thorough and straight forward. He was anything if not impressed.

“I guess you have been busy.”

Jamie found herself feeling sheepish and turned her focus to the ground in front of her. She thought it was best to do him a favor at least and make it as easy as possible for him to take over the position.

Ignoring his comment entirely, Jamie went into the basic information of the class.

“The class meets every Tuesday unless other activities are going on. If it’s too much for you we can do maybe every other Tuesday?” She said nervously.

Hader looked up at her watching the way she seemed to put herself back into her shell. Realizing his mistake in making her feel like she had done too much, he softened.

“No, No… Every Tuesday is fine. If that’s how things were before, we can do that. You did a good job this is… extremely helpful.” He paid attention to the way she relaxed at the moment.

It was both understandable and confusing to see the way she can bring out so much confidence and then make herself seem small in a matter of seconds. It was like she had the confidence, but she worried so much about how she was perceived that it tanked immediately.

Wheels were already turning in his brain about how to approach the club and things he could add on that wasn't there before. He himself was in a club such as this one when he was a student. It was a long time ago though.

But participating in something like this made him feel youthful again. He has some kind of purpose that he hadn’t felt in a long time. If teaching these classes and acting as a mentor to these starry-eyed college students is the thing that made him feel useful again then so-be-it.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then… I just wanted to give you everything. Have a good Weekend Professor Hader.”

As Jamie turned around, He had a suspicious need to establish a more comfortable atmosphere. He figured if she was the president of this club, there had to be some sort of level of mutual appreciation. It wouldn’t be beneficial for either of them to grow to dislike each other. For the sake of the club, her education, and his class.

“Jamie… outside of class, you can call me Bill.”

Jamie looked back for a second. Studying the intentions behind the suggestion and only found a genuine effort that she had once seen in Dr. Slater.

“Okay, sounds good… _Bill_.”


	4. Chapter 4

##  _Song of the chapter: “Peace” - Taylor Swift_

Twenty people showed up to this semester's first meeting.

It was a good start considering how it was technically thrown together last minute. There were no fliers set up on the bulletin, or reluctantly put up on the doors like usual. Jamie made a note to do those things in the future though regardless.

Most of the faces in the room were familiar aside from six freshmen that came to observe the meeting in order to make the decision on whether it was worth the commitment in the future. Jamie hoped that they would stay, but she knew she couldn’t force them to.

For the most part, the hour was spent introducing people again and catching up on the things they had missed from the last time the group had met up. They went over some plans of the year and discussed new communication opportunities.

When it came time to introduce the new faculty advisor, the majority of the group already knew who he was. Some girls smiled, and leaned further into their seat, hanging on every word Bill had said.

Bill was casual and charismatic and moved the room into laughter the second he had the opportunity to speak. Jamie noticed the way almost everyone seemed genuinely interested in him. It was as if Dr. Slater had never existed. There was a part of her deep down that had to admit that Professor Hader was ten times more outgoing than Dr. Slater, and even though Slater was beloved in the school, There was a new and fresh take that came with Hader's welcoming and playful attitude.

“Now, I don’t mind if you guys call me by my first name here. Please don’t make it a habit in the classroom though. I might have to kill you.” The room filled with laughter and endearing smiles. It was as if Bill had everyone in his trance.

He had a different way of addressing students outside the classroom. When he was participating in lectures he held an authoritative attitude that would never allow people to act up. However, a room full of students who simply wanted to further their knowledge in film and spend time socializing around the topic outside of a classroom environment made Professor Hader feel right at home.

The meeting somehow took a different turn and basically acted as a panel for their new advisor. Asking questions in order to get the full story.

Hader took the change in his stride and happily shared a bit of his backstory. Jamie immediately found herself taking a seat and listening in. There still were some other things that she felt needed to be communicated, but even she couldn’t deny her growing curiosity once she realized that she really didn’t know anything about him other than the fact that he took her favorite teacher's place.

Bill sat on the edge of a desk and began to tell the story of him in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The way he spoke with his hands and made even the most minor details seem eventful. It was no surprise to find out that he had performed in a sketch comedy group at one time.

“You did improv?” Asked a very intrigued theatre student.

Bill nodded. “It really helped me get out of my shell a bit. I’d recommend it to anyone.”

“Have you ever considered doing live shows? Something like SNL?”

It seemed that every person in the room had at least one question for him. The only person who didn’t care to ask anything was Jamie.

Bill went on to explain how his anxiety would never let himself do something so daring, but the thought had crossed his mind once or twice. There was so much more to know about him, but as seven o’clock came around, the meeting had to come to an end.

In order to take the pressure off of Professor Hader, Jamie stepped in giving the group some last-minute announcements. Someone had asked what the plan would be for the next meeting, but in that second a cruel realization made its way into Jamie's brain. She wasn’t sure. Dr. Slater usually had the better ideas, and always had things regarding the club figured out. Jamie tries to be on top of things, but this time it was a bit more difficult. The sinking feeling of letting down the organization crept up again.

Thankfully, Bill stepped in. “We can discuss that once it gets closer to the date. Stay safe tonight, kids!” The class groaned at the mention of calling them “Kids.” It was pretty evident at this point that no college student wants to be treated as if they were one. Bill knew this and grinned at their objections.

-

Once everyone had made their way out of the building all that was left was Bill and Jamie alone in the classroom. Bill helped her gather the documents and looked over the sign-in sheet. There was a comfortable silence between the two before Bill had the undeniable urge to break it.

“The turnout looked promising.” It was a shy attempt at small talk, but Jamie responded nonetheless.

“I think so, considering we barely even advertised it. I think I can get my friend Hannah to make some fliers for the next one…” Her voice trailed off towards the end and Bill did not hesitate to notice.

There were two baskets full of random junk that Bill had brought just in case. DVDs and screenplay based books. He wanted to be prepared for any kind of scenario only to realize halfway through that they didn’t even need most of the stuff.

“Could you help me with this stuff and bring them up to my office?” He asked glancing back at Jamie's now somber-filled figure.

She nodded and made her way to grab a basket while Bill dealt with the other.

As they made their way into the elevator to the second floor. Bill began to ask Jamie questions about some of her favorite things that she got to do through the club in the previous years. Their faces were blocked and arms full of things. Jamie caught her eye on a few classic films that she watched with her father in the pile and made a mental note to ask Bill about them later.

Opening the door, Jamie noticed that the office was surprisingly clean. She suspected that anything that would have caused some sort of mess was in these baskets. There were movie posters everywhere. One that brought a ghost of a smile on Jamie’s face because they were movies that she loved dearly. There was a bookcase full of scripts and books on the top two shelves, but on the last three, she noticed was a large number of TV seasons and movies. It was fitting. Bill Hader really did play the part of a Film Professor to a T.

Bill guided her to set the baskets on the floor next to his desk and adding an excuse for dealing with it all later. His desk was symmetrically placed in front of the two windows in the office. He had Burgundy curtains off to the side, and to the right, she noticed a small table with bourbon and clear glasses resting on top.

Jamie raised her eyebrows at the layout, and Bill caught her eye towards the alcohol.

“I promise I’m not an alcoholic.” Jamie found herself smiling at the clear panic in his voice.

“I’m just surprised you have this out in the open. Professor Han and Dr. Madison hide theirs inside their desks.” Bill stood for a moment reading her face. He wasn’t sure if she was joking and once he realized she wasn’t, he had about a million other questions to ask.

Jamie could see the curiosity in his eyes and found herself sitting in one of the chairs across his desk.

“I go to office hours a lot, and sometimes they can’t hide it fast enough.” She explained.

Bill nodded and smiled at the thought of someone as hard and strict as Dr. Madison fleeing to hide a bottle of whiskey underneath his desk.

“I usually hide it, but not a lot of people come into my hours right now.”

“You haven’t really assigned anything difficult yet… but I bet you’ll get more visitors especially after tonight.” Jamie paused and glanced back at the bottle and glasses set up nicely on the mahogany table.

“I suggest you hide it soon though.”

Bill made his way to sit opposite her behind his desk. There was a new lighthearted energy in the room. Bill couldn’t place what had changed. Usually, it was him bringing in more effort to gain her approval. He knew just by the way she spoke and her body language that she wasn’t pleased with him coming in and taking over a professor he assumed she was really close to.

“You’re right. Otherwise, you might find yourself with yet _another_ new professor. I can’t imagine you’d enjoy that.” He teased.

Jamies face felt warmth all of the sudden. _He knew._

“I just… Dr. Slater was a really good mentor. She made a lot of things happen for me.” Jamie tried to reason, but Bill held up his hand politely persuading her to stop.

“I get it, you spent what… three years here studying under a brilliant woman and all of a sudden you’ve got a scrawny old man? I wouldn’t be pleased either. I met Dr. Slater, she really was something else.” Bill narrowed his eyes at her but added it with a friendly smile. It was a gesture used in an attempt to hopefully get her to trust him a bit more.

“It’s not that… it’s just. I don’t handle change very well. Plus, she had connections to places, and she knew me pretty well. She was a friend.”

“Ah, I see. If it’s any consolation… she did have a part in hiring me. If that makes you feel better.” 

Honestly knowing that Dr. Slater approved of him did make her feel better, but it still didn’t explain her abrupt departure.

“Do you know why she left? I figured I’d get an email or something, but… it’s been radio silence.”

Bill could hear the worry in her voice. He could also sense the slight resentment that a mentor so dear to her wouldn’t even let her know that she was leaving.

“She didn’t mention anything to me, but some colleagues hinted that her mom might have been the reason? I think she got sick.”

Jamie suddenly understood why she might not have heard from Dr. Slater. She knew how close she was to her mom. Dr. Slater always made some connections to her during her lectures, and her office was always covered with new pictures framed of the two. She had more framed pictures of her and her mom than her own husband. 

“That explains the silence. I get that.” Jamie said. There was a hint of sadness that Bill could see in her eyes. He wanted to ask but thought it was better to say nothing for the time being.

The air had cleared up a bit more, and Jamie took a second to look around the room again. She smiled again at some of the posters. It was like she was in a teenage boy's office. When she looked down, she noticed a wedding ring thrown off on the corner of the desk.

There were many things that could explain it. Either he was married and maybe just took the ring off, or maybe it didn’t fit? Maybe he has to get it re-sized. She didn’t know he was married and didn’t think that he was. But she figured that if he was married, and no longer married then why would he have it on his desk staring back at him, torturing him?

Bill met her eyes on the ring. He felt the urge to take it and force it out of her view, but doing that meant that he had to explain why it was there and why it wasn’t on his finger. Ranting to a student about his failed love life didn’t seem like the path to take, So Bill cleared his throat, ready to suggest her to leave when Jamie raised her eyes towards him and smiled. He was caught dead in his tracks.

“I saw Taxi Driver was in your basket. Were you planning on showing it during the meeting?” She asked with a hint of a laugh. The movie was hardly one to be shown to a bunch of students, especially on school grounds. Either way, if these were film students, they probably have already seen it at least once at this point.

Bill let out a sheepish grin.

“It was the movie that first made me interested in the art of directing. I brought it just in case.”

Jamie found herself beginning to laugh

“That was the movie? I mean its a brilliant movie, but I never expected that to be the movie that got you into directing.”

“I was also ten,” Bill explained.

Jamie burst into laughter even more.

“Ten?! That movie? Man, I can’t even imagine.”

Bill began to explain how he watched the movie with his father and how the scene with him on the payphone was the first moment things clicked for him.

Jamie’s eyes softened at the mention of him watching the movie with his dad. There was a new understanding of why it could also be so special to him.

“My dad introduced that movie to me when I was 14. Was about to go into high school. He thought it was finally time to show me the more risqué type of movies.” A sense of nostalgia surrounded the both of them and Jamie glanced off to the side, gazing and remembering the moment with lost admiration.

“Was your dad the one that got you into watching movies?” Bill asked.

The slight sadness in Jamie’s eyes came back as she turned her attention back to Bill.

“He was. He was the one that put being a Director in my head.”

“I bet he must be proud of you then.”

Once he said it, he realized that the sadness that surrounded the topic was there for a reason. He watched her face fall for a moment, before smiling thoughtfully again. It was small, but it was there.

“I’d like to think so… he died the summer after my high school graduation.” A sharp pain made its way inside of her. Just because years had passed didn’t mean the blow wouldn’t be just as fresh as the day it happened.

“I’m so sorry… I can’t imagine how that would feel.”

Jamie shook the feeling away but glanced back up to Bill.

“He was sick. Found out my junior year. I had some time to take it in. Hasn’t made it much easier though, but… I’m glad I got to share the moments that I did with him.”

Bill wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t think anything that he could say would make her feel better, but he desperately wanted her to feel better. Every bone in his body wanted to go over and hug her. Do _something_. But he didn’t think it was appropriate.

“That’s why I really liked Dr. Slater. I don’t talk about it very much. Not even my closest friends really know much about it. Dr. Slater got it out of me when I briefly mentioned it in one of my papers one day. I made some lame connection to it I guess. I didn’t know I had until she mentioned it to me. She dealt with the same thing with her dad when she was younger, so I guess we kinda bonded over it.”

Jamie stopped for a second playing the memory over in her head again. She immediately wished that she could be there for Dr. Slater, and made the decision to email her later. Hoping that it was still active.

“She was one of the few people I knew I could go to about issues like that… or any insecurities. She understood me.”

Anxiety started to bubble up in Jamie’s body realizing that she might have shared too much with this man. She was supposed to come up here and drop things off and then leave. She instantly felt stupid. He probably didn’t want to hear any of this. She had trapped him in a pity party and she was the one they were celebrating unwillingly.

“I’m sorry… I… I really am sorry, I don’t think this is something you’d care to hear. I'll go and get out of your hair. Have a good night Professor Hader.”

She made the attempt to get out of her chair and collect her things. Bill could see her going back to a formal setting with him. He recognized the panic.

So Bill made his way out of his chair and over to the shaking shell of a woman and placed his hand gently on her arm.

“Jamie… please don’t apologize. If I didn’t care I would have asked you to leave thirty minutes ago. I’m glad you told me. Honestly, I thought you hated me for taking Dr. Slater's place, but now I understand where you’re coming from.”

All Jamie could do was stare at Professor Hader's hand on her arm.

Noticing this, Bill quickly retracted his hand and took half a step back.

“Look… it’s part of my profession to want the best for all of my students. You should be comfortable speaking with me about such things. It’s kind of a requirement in the job description.” he added with a chuckle.

Jamie still stared, but this time the panic slowly made its way out. He was telling the truth. That much she could tell.

“If you need a mentor, someone to confide in… I am more than happy to add that to my list of things to do as a teacher. You’ve got a friend in me... Now, I’m not sure you’d really want a stinky old man for that role, but it’s the least I could do for replacing the one person you could talk to.”

He was one of the good ones. He was the kind of teacher who invested in his students. Jamie started to see it earlier that evening with the other participants in the club, and she had confirmed her previous theories now. She could trust him.

For the first time, she wasn’t frustrated over Dr. Slater's departure. Professor Hader was just as genuine and good if not better. There was comfort and respect and it was growing rapidly.

She smiled up at him but was unsure of what else to say. She was just put on a rollercoaster of emotions and wasn’t entirely sure what to think yet.

“Well, then thank you for listening. I need to go though. I’ve got a paper to write.” She told him, humbly referencing the paper he assigned last week that was due soon.

All Bill could do was smile back, say his goodbyes, and watch her walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Song of the chapter: "Honestly" - Hippo Campus_ **

There was a strange anxious feeling that held itself over Jamie’s head during classes she had with Professor Hader for the rest of the week. She didn’t make any effort to talk to him after class or see him during his office hours. Not that she needed to. 

Even though she knew things were perfectly fine, there was a sinking feeling that resonated after opening up to him. It wasn’t necessarily him that was the problem, she would feel this way about anyone who she opened up to.

And Bill noticed her effort to remain at a distance from him in class. It shouldn’t bother him as much, but his fear of making the wrong move only made things worse. Maybe he shouldn’t have touched her arm. It wasn’t a big deal to him at the time. He was trying to comfort her, but in this day and age, you'd never be too sure. Things seemed fine, but when she dropped off her paper at his desk with a small hello, there was a large amount of disappointment. She didn’t stay to talk. She wasn’t obligated to and he knew that, but It was the annoying nagging feeling that he couldn’t get over. 

So when Jamie made her way into a local coffee shop on an early Saturday afternoon, the sight of Professor Hader in the far left corner nearly gave her a heart attack. 

He didn’t notice her walk in, and it would take some time before he even looked up from his laptop. She watched him feverishly type at the keyboard. The shop could go up in flames at that moment and she was sure he wouldn’t move a muscle. 

Once the feeling came to a tolerable amount, Jamie realized that this run-in would be a blessing in disguise. She hadn’t updated him on what to do with the next meeting, and he hadn’t made much effort either.

Aside from new projects that were causing an extra amount of stress, Jamie’s need to prove herself as the organization's President had been eating at her for the past three days. 

_ What if the meetings got boring?  _

_ What if people stopped showing up?  _

Questions burdened her like the plague, and all she could do was come up with absolutely nothing.

Ordering her coffee, Jamie kept taking small glances at Bill. She hadn’t made the decision on whether she wanted to go over there or not. She was thankful at the fact that he still has yet to look up from his screen.

He looked exhausted. There were bags under his eyes that could be seen from across the shop, and his glasses added to the ensemble. She almost felt bad for him. It was a Saturday afternoon and he was sitting in a coffee shop, alone. 

There was a strong debate going on in her head as she waited for her drink. Still glancing over, and still receiving absolutely no confirmation that he had noticed her yet. 

She could easily make a run for it once she gets her coffee to avoid any awkwardness that she was sure would play a part in their connection. She could also suck it up and speak to him for the sake of something she was genuinely passionate about.

When the barista quietly reached her arm over the counted with Jamie’s drink. There was a pivotal moment. She could either walk out right now, or she could say hello.

There was one other person hanging around the coffee shop. A man with silver hair reading from a Newspaper that the shop keeps in a pile next to the door. He paid no attention to those around him. It was just her, Bill, and the indecision left in her brain.

Whether Jamie had wanted to or not, her body seemed to make the decision for her. She found herself walking over the corner where Bill sat. 

“I have no idea what to do for this meeting in the next week and it’s starting to drive me crazy” Jamies words fell out of her mouth before she could stop it. It’s like any time she found herself within two feet of her professor, word vomit found its way on to everything in front of her.

Bill’s face shot up in surprise. Quickly recognizing her voice, and taking time to identify the rush of embarrassment that flew to her face.

His wide blue eyes just stared at her for a time. He had questions that ran themselves around full of unwavering curiosity.

_ How long had she been here? _

and 

_ How did he not notice that she was there? _

Once the initial confusion chases itself off, Bill smiled in amusement.

The amusement came from many things. It was the way she seemed so worked up over a meeting that lasted maybe one hour a week. The other reason, was because he realized they were both on the exact same page.

He glanced down at his computer screen. Eyes running across an email from a colleague in New York City that happily granted him information for an opportunity that he knew would be beneficial for the same club that Jamie was beating herself up over.

“Do you want to have a seat?” He asked cooly. 

Jamie allowed herself to give in and pulled the chair out across from him.

“I mean, I guess we could just make it a movie night? I thought that I would have everything figured out at this point, but planning these things is harder than it looks.” She was ranting. it’s all she could do. Once she got going, she really went on and on.

Bill happily let her get her frustrations out of her system before he would provide her with answers he knew she had been looking for. He was almost over the moon. He was pleased that after an entire week of feeling hopeless about the possibility of messing things up, there was a silver lining. 

If she had been stressed about not being a good enough leader, then he was stressed about not being able to give her the tools to do so.

Once Jamie was done ranting, she was met with silence. 

The silence eventually led to Bill turning his laptop over showing her a website about a competition that occurred every year in New York City. 

The competition itself was based on screenwriting. 

There was an application to apply and was almost exclusive to college based audiences. Film clubs and other organizations revolving the field had been competing against each other for years.

_ How has she not heard about this? _

She looked up to her professor with growing curiosity and astonishment. 

“In the Fall…” Bill began, “We would essentially write a screenplay, or members of the club would work together to do this. In November, we’ll have the opportunity to travel to New York and participate in the competition. You guys would pitch the idea, and do a table read in front of the judges.”

Jamie's heart nearly lept out of her chest. This was an opportunity that she knew the group would be excited about. This offered experience and practice that they had never had inside the organization before.

“And if we’re finalists, they’ll fund us with enough to make a small film. We could spend the spring working on that, and submit it to win the entire thing… that is, if we come up with a good idea.”

Bill’s smile grew wider when he saw the way Jamie was reacting. He could see the hope in her face, and it was well worth all the research and calls he had to make to get all the information he needed. 

“This is… this is such a great idea. I mean… we’d have to get the club on board, but I think they’d be into it.” Her grin reached ear to ear at this point. Her mind running with a thousand different possibilities and ideas already.

“We’d have to work with some of the financials. I was thinking some of the membership dues and a whole lot of fundraising could handle that. I can see if I can get the board to allow some extra funding for the trip too.” Bill added.

Jamie nearly had the urge to jump out of her chair and hug him, or even kiss him at that moment. Of course, she remained still and scrolled through the website searching for the information herself, just to see it all with her own eyes.

Bill watched her in silence. Her giddiness was something he had never seen before. It was nice to see her so delighted over something. He quietly admired how a bit of joy could change her entire demeanor. 

When Jamie finally looked up, she caught him staring at her. This time, however, she didn’t look away. She had never been more appreciative of him than she was at this moment. 

“Thank you…” was all she could manage to get out.

Bill’s lips softly tugged to either side. 

“Just doing my job.”

The truth was, Bill, did it because he cared about how she perceived him. He wanted to prove himself to her. He figured it was just him trying to prove that he could be a good teacher and nothing more, but there was a small feeling that there was more to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something he would explore further. He didn’t think it was important.

He was just glad to see her happy, and even more so that he was the reason for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Song of the chapter: "Savior Complex" - Pheobe Bridgers_ **

It had been two weeks since the club meeting where Professor Hader and their chosen president, Jamie Andrews had pitched the idea about the screenplay competition. 

Just as Jamie had suspected, the members of the organization were completely for the idea, and the rest of the meeting was spent in excitement. Questions were asked about the financial situation, others about how to start.

Ideas began to surface and minds began brainstorming plots and details that could earn the group a win at the end of the year. Bill watched in awe as he learned more and more about the capabilities of some of the students in the organization. Especially Jamie. The way she guided through conversation and carefully planned timelines. Her attention to detail showcased the passion she had for Film and the project. Bill knew that they were all in good hands under her leadership.

-

When October came around, The University reached a steady pace, and students were knee-deep in responsibilities. Jamie was busy with classes and plans for the competition. 

Other than class and meetings, Bill didn’t see much of her. For a while, he decided that his growing curiosity and interest in the girl was simply because she had grown to be one of his favorite students. And how could he not? She was persistent and smart. He always enjoyed reading her papers. She offered insight that many other of her peers couldn’t even dream of. 

Every teacher had a favorite student. She was a favorite for many of the professors in the school _because_ of her work ethic. She was brilliant and had a full future ahead of her. 

It was a Monday afternoon when Bill began to view Jamie as more than just a student. It was when she barged into his office with notes and fundraising information in order to cover the travel expenses for the trip, that he started to see her as a dear friend. He decided after the third page of a notebook full of carefully detailed plans, that he realized that he sincerely hoped that she would keep in touch with him after she graduated. 

He didn’t mind her spontaneous bursts of energy and obsessive tendencies. He definitely didn’t mind her barging into his office. He found her amusing.

Following that Monday, she found herself coming in with new things to look over, and almost always it was during his lunchtime. She had the rest of her days booked and somehow only had the time to discuss things with him while he had a face full of food.

Finally, he addressed it.

“Do you ever find the time to eat lunch at all?” 

Jamie had just finished ranting about the annoyances of some of the members of the group who weren’t trying as hard as the others.

“No, I have classes back to back most days. When I’m not in class I’m going over information with you… We’re on a time crunch here you know?” She said practically out of breath.

Bill placed a hand under his chin, staring at her for a moment.

“You should slow down. You’re overworking yourself.” Jamie could tell that there was only care behind his statement. She knew he was right.

“I’m a perfectionist. I don’t have time to slow down.” 

Bill stared further. He was questioning every motive behind what he was lining. Only coming down to the fact that he cared about her overall health.

He cares about all of his students' overall health. But maybe Jamie’s just a little bit more. 

“Well, since you seem to always come in here while I’m eating lunch, I won’t let you come back in here every day ranting about this project unless you have at least something to eat with you. Deal?”

Jamie attempted to object, but seeing how serious of a look remained on his face, one that she rarely saw, she gave in. 

Once she agreed there was a look of triumph on Bill’s face. Compromise wasn’t one of her strong suits, but thankfully, it was for him. 

He prided himself at the fact that he was good for her. _He_ was the reason behind her making healthier choices for herself.

-

And so it goes, almost every day she came in during lunchtime with something to eat along with one hundred new notes for him to go over. He didn’t mind it one bit.

It started out as small snacks. An apple, and maybe some trail mix. 

Then it became fuller meals. 

After a while, it was a habit. The chair was already pulled out for her, desk cleared.

Then, she started coming with fewer notes. The conversation stopped being about projects, school, or new notes for the screenplay. The hour filled up with jokes and stories about their lives. Sometimes rants about movies, and who’s opinion was better.

It was only as innocent as they had made it.

Things had gotten more personal. When she came in one day and noticed that the wedding ring was gone from the side of his desk, she decided to finally ask him about it. Anxious and careful, she spoke.

“So… forgive me if I’m intruding on your personal boundaries, but you hardly ever mention anything about family. I mean, were you married? Do you have kids?”

Bill was taken aback by her question, however, he figured this would have come up at some point. He still remembered the first time he noticed her staring at the ring that used to have a tossed away place on the side of his desk. 

“I _was_ married. For ten years.” He said carefully.

“I just… I noticed you had a ring there. I thought it might have been a prop at first for something. I was just curious. I’m sorry if that’s too much.”

With a deep breath, Bill made the decision that it was safe to talk to her about it.

“Things didn’t really work out between us for a while. There were a lot of things that ended that relationship. It’s not worth going into it, but yeah… it took me a while to accept it. Didn’t want to get rid of the ring just yet.”

“It’s not there now.” She said bluntly.

He smiled at her obvious statement. He should have known that she would be persistent enough to get anything out of him that she could.

“You’re right. I think over time, I finally got over it. It was for the best though. She didn’t want kids… I did. That’s a big thing in a marriage.”

There was silence between them for a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable, or awkward. It was just silence. She smiled at him. She imagined that he would have been a great father, She saw qualities in him that she saw on her own. 

“Well, I have a class to teach in thirty minutes, and you have one to attend I believe.”

He wasn’t trying to get out of the conversation. It was just a simple fact. 

So they said their goodbyes. The both of them walked out of his office unknowingly in the presence of something else brewing. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An idea is made for the screenplay, Bill's hidden jealousy causes a pre-lovers quarrel.

"Buttercup" - Hippo Campus 

“Okay so here are some of the ideas we have. Before we begin on the vote, is there anything else you guys want to add?” Jamie called out to the members of the club.

She stood infant of the whiteboard full of different plot lines. It was finally time to make the calculated decision on which idea was going to bring them victory over the conference.

Bill stood toward the end of the room, quietly observing his students' work. He was only there to moderate anything and answer questions that Jamie couldn’t cover. She had everything under control.

When Jamie didn’t get anything else, she glanced back at the board. Ideas were scribbled out with colored markers. She had her favorites, but she wasn’t sure which one would come out as a winner.

The ideas ran from a Hit-Man based plot, a struggling actor’s story, star-crossed lovers, war theme, murder-mystery, serial killer, etc.

All had the potential to become something great, but she felt that they were all pretty basic. She wanted to win the competition, but it wasn’t just her calling all the shots. She might have been president, but the only way for this entire thing to work as if everyone else was on board as well.

Looking out into the group, she could see that the rest of them were on the same page. They didn’t seem as excited as they used to be. Everyone had defeated looks on their face. Struggling to pick an idea because nothing was specific enough.

It wasn’t until Ellis, a tall, athletic built brunette, finally mentioned what everyone else was thinking.

“Maybe we should combine some of them, don’t you think?”

Jamie smiled. She had always liked Ellis. She hadn’t talked to him much, she considered him to be a bit out of her league. It was strange to see him as involved as he was with the school as well. Aside from the club, he was in a fraternity and two other organizations around campus. He almost seemed out of place here.

Jamie glanced back at the board, trying to consider what could be combined, and what was worth making a story out of.

She had many options, but the embarrassment of sitting in front of her peers, not being able to come up with anything right away was starting to consume her.

She finally noticed Bill in the back, hand on his chin, running in deep thought.

She desperately wanted his input. He has great ideas too, and she was fond of his take on things.

“What if… What if we did something with the hit-man plot?” He finally said.

Jamie looked back, but still was unsure of where they could go.

“Okay, but with what?” Another student asked.

Bill made his way up to the front, carefully taking a stand next to Jamie.

Bill glanced at the board again. Jamie could see the wheels turning in his head now. He still seemed to be unsure, but a lightbulb clicked.

“We’re in LA… He can follow a hit into an acting class maybe?” She added.

Bill looked at her as an epiphany struck down. His hands started to point repeatedly at her and the board.

At that moment it was basically just the two of them bouncing ideas off of each other. Nobody else was in the room according to them.

“And then he gets into acting, decides he wants to become an actor!” Bill exclaimed

The rest of the group mumbles in agreement. It was then that the two finally recognized that they weren’t the only ones there.

“Maybe he was in the army? That could explain where he started and why he became a hit-man?”

Throughout the period, a plotline was made and the script was already starting to write itself.

Bill kept glancing over at Jamie with pride. He was proud of all of his students, but his soft spot for her was growing slightly more than the rest.

-

After the meeting was over, Jamie stood upfront cleaning up as she usually does, when Ellis came up to her with a megawatt smile beaming back at her.

“Hey, Jamie.”

Jamie looked up in surprise. Ellis hardy took the time to speak to her often, and she was grateful for it considering the way her heart would flutter in his presence.

“Hi, what can I help you with?” She assumed he was there in front of her regarding any questions she hadn’t answered during the hour, but quickly realized that it wasn’t the case.

“I just wanted to tell you that you were doing a good job with all of this. I was also wondering what you were doing for professor Han's scene development project? I could use your input on some stuff.”

Off to the side, Bill was seen speaking with a student, about what he wasn’t entirely sure in the moment because he was distracted by the exchange between Ellis and Jamie across the room.

He couldn’t place the feeling in his chest, but it wasn’t something he was fond of feeling. Any other day he would have brushed it off as being protective, but this time he found himself seeing the way she smiled at Ellis and realized he wished she smiled that way with him.

Bill’s small glances didn’t go unnoticed. Jamie could see his looks but didn’t pay much attention. It would have been ridiculous to think that it came from any ill feelings.

“Yeah, I’m sure you have my contact information, so just let me know and I’d be happy to help.”

Ellis’s eyes lit up. He was a little kid getting a new present in her eyes.

She watched him leave with a brighter step.

It was then that Jamie looked over at Bill, who shrugged the student off claiming that he’d get back with them later and made a B-line toward her.

“What did Ellis want?” Thankfully, he thought himself to be a good actor and managed to hide the growing discomfort of seeing the exchange between the two.

“Oh, uh… he just… complimented me out of the blue, and asked for my help for a project in Han’s class.” Jamie still confused, glanced back up at Bill.

Bill’s protective side was beginning to get the best of him. He didn’t dislike Ellis, but he was a young college guy at one point. He knew the intentions behind his actions. He didn’t think Ellis was someone who would treat her with care.

“Uh-huh… help…” he said putting air quotes over the word “help”

Jamies eyebrows furrowed.

“Why say it like that?”

“Jamie, he definitely wants more than help from you. I mean, more power to you, but be careful.”

A nerve struck inside Jamie’s brain. She could immediately detect the underlying judgment behind his voice.

“I mean, I’m smart enough to know what his intentions are, but I can handle myself.”

“I never said you couldn’t”

“Well, I can.”

“I know.”

“Well then… good.” She glared up at him. These were sides that neither of them had seen before. There was a lot of confusion behind why this was a conversation in the first place.

She didn’t know where the sudden attitude was coming from, but marked it as being overly tired and stress. Plus, regardless of how close she was getting with Professor Hader, she didn’t appreciate the seeming judgment that was freeing itself from him.

Little did she know that she wasn’t the one he was judging.

Jamie felt insecure all of the sudden in front of him. Wondering what he thought of her truly. Did he view her as a clueless child? Someone who would make decisions recklessly?

Bill never wanted to sound the way that he did. He didn’t even understand why the hostility was there in the first place, but here they were. Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

It was Jamie who finally spoke up.

“I should go. I have homework to finish.”

Jamie didn’t wait for his response before she began to make her way out of the room, but Bill's arm grabbed her wrist.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think that I think you’re some kind of…”

“Whore?” Jamie said attempting to finish his sentence.

Jamie’s eyes shot daggers into him.

_Why was she taking this so personally_

And at the same time, their eyes met on the feel of Bills hands wrapped around her wrist.

Bill stepped back and let go. “That… that wasn’t what I was saying…”

There was silence again. The feeling was strange. They both knew that this wasn’t a normal conversation between student and teacher, and it began to make both of them uncomfortable.

“Last time I checked, faculty shouldn’t get involved with students’ personal lives. Personal lives that I am more than capable of navigating without your judgement. Maybe you should consider that.” Jamie said walking out of the classroom, leaving Bill standing with a sharp pain in his gut.

_She was right._

He crossed a line. She wasn’t his friend. He was a mentor at best, but his involvement in her life should be nonexistent. He realized then that it was best to keep away from her unless it had anything to do with the project, but at this point… she didn’t need him for anything.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie confronts Bill, Bill says something she might not want to hear.

The song of this chapter: "Sailing" - The Happy Fits

(This song is def in Bill's POV lol)

If there was one thing that Jamie was sure of in this world, it was how much she had blown things out of proportion. 

The conversation she had with Professor Hader was completely uncalled for and massively inappropriate.

The thing is, after stepping back and replaying the moment in her head a million times over, she realized that she was the one overreacting.

He wasn’t judging her. He was doing his part as a caring faculty member. He was looking out for her. Which is something that she had found herself wanting in the past two weeks.

There were a lot of things bubbling up into her mind. There was a scary realization that her hostility in the responses given to him stemmed from the care that she wouldn’t allow herself to feel for him. She was aware that their closeness came about because of working closely with one another. She had to. She was president of a club that he was an advisor for. He was an advisor because  _ she  _ asked him to.

Of course, he raised concern for her well being because that’s what she asked him to do. It was strange to think and realize that they had become a lot closer than she had originally intended.

-

It had been a couple of weeks since they spoke. The last two meetings were exclusively at another student's house without the presence of Professor Hader. This was the part when he had to leave the students to their creativity. He was able to add some input, but according to the rules, it was the students and the students only who were allowed to write the screenplay.

Jamie spent her time leading it all, members looking up to her for guidance. 

Despite her growing anxiety about the consequences behind her behavior with Professor Hader, she managed to get the members of the club under control with little effort. 

Bill would hear things going on from students who began coming into his office to speak with him, and he made sure to ask them how their president was doing on the job. This time around though, it was strictly to make sure he didn't need to step in.

In class, he noticed that Ellis sat next to her. He would whisper things over to her during his lecture  _ while he was talking. _

It took everything in him to not snap at him in annoyance. The problem was that he wasn’t sure if he was annoyed because he was  _ disrespectful _ to his authority, or if  _ he _ was the reason in general.

He knew something needed to be done eventually, but these days all he could think was how much he overstepped a line. He made Jamie feel uncomfortable, and he was beginning to realize how unorthodox his relationship with her was. They got too close for comfort. 

He never had any judgment toward her in the first place, and he couldn’t believe that he had made her feel the way she did.

So Bill became cold and put walls up. She didn’t bother speaking to him either, so he figured it wasn’t the time to say anything.

She’d sit in class next to Ellis. Hardly looking at the lecture, but somehow still taking notes.

If Bill wasn’t so frustrated with the situation he was put in, he would have been impressed at her skills to somehow still get everything right in class without paying any attention at all.

There were a couple of days in the week when she wouldn't even show up at all. It took everything in him not to check on her, but once again, he realized that his reasoning for it wasn’t suitable. 

_ She’s a student. Not a friend. _

-

Once Jamie managed to get her pride up to apologize, it was Tuesday. The club wasn’t meeting tonight, so she found herself walking in the hallway towards Bill’s office. It was his lunchtime, so she knew he wasn’t busy.

She had a speech running over in her head. It was ridiculous that she even had to run it in the first place, but it’s what she got for putting them both in this situation.

When she got to the entryway, she was met with Bill and a short-haired blonde woman giggling and going about in the middle of a conversation. He was sat on his desk while she stood closer to him. 

It wasn’t anything too scandalous, they just seemed very  _ close. _

“Oh! I’m sorry, I can come back.” Jamie let out.

Bill looked from the woman and back at Jamie. 

She could see that he was genuinely surprised to see her. 

The woman stepped back and looked Jamie over. She had a friendly smile over her face.

“No, please! I was just stopping by.” She said. Her brown eyes were warm, and she was gorgeous.

“It’s fine, it’s not important. I’ll see you in class tomorrow Bi— uh… Professor Hader.” Jamie pushed out before practically running back down the hallway and the steps of the stairwell. 

All Bill could do was look out in the hallway in pure confusion.

“Who was that?” Stephenie asked.

Bill stared off, and then back at the woman in his office. 

“Oh, that was Jamie, she’s the president of the club I oversee.” His voice trailed off toward the end.

His brows furrowed. He didn’t expect her to come in during his lunchtime ever again if he was being honest. 

“Oh, I see… seemed kind of troubled” She replied with a laugh.

But Bill didn’t laugh. His mind was preoccupied with what would have happened if Steph wasn’t there.

“So are we still on for Friday?” She asked.

Bill snapped out of his trance and tried to give his best smile back at her.

“Of course, I’ll see you then.”

-

On Wednesday, when Jamie made her way into his classroom, her eyes immediately met his.

If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was watching for her to come in.

_ He was. _

Jamie made her way up to the front, in the third row. Bill’s eyes trailing after her. She almost wanted to speak to him right then but Ellis slammed his body down in the chair next to her, causing her to let out a small scream.

“Did I scare you? Ooh I’m sorry” Ellis said, falling in a fit full of laughter.

This time, she saw the glare written on Bill's face.

It was like the exchange changed his entire demeanor again. 

-

The class went over pretty smoothly. 

_ Except for the part when Bill finally snapped at Ellis. _

As usual, Ellis was throwing jokes, laughing in Jamie's ear. He tried his best to seem discreet, but Bill could hear every word.

Ellis was in the middle of a bit, and Jamie was trying her best to listen while also taking notes at the same time when Bill turned to him, Stopping the entire lecture.

“Ellis, do you have somewhere else to be?”

Anyone who wasn’t listening in the class before definitely was now. Nobody had seen or heard Professor Hader raise his voice at anyone.

Ellis's smile faltered and looked up, terrified.

“No, sir.”

“Are you sure? Because clearly, this class isn’t as important to you considering you’ve talked through my lecture the entire time.”

Jamie was paralyzed. She had been snippy at him before, but she had  _ never _ seen Bill lose his cool. That just wasn’t a thing that he would do. Until now.

“I’m sure. Sorry, sir.”

Ellis stopped talking for the rest of the lecture, and when it was over, he said his goodbyes to Jamie and headed out the door. It was clear that being yelled at by a professor who never yelled, managed to persuade him to leave the room as soon as he could.

As everyone else packed up and left, Jamie didn’t move. She still sat in her chair, notebook opened up in front of her.

When Bill was turning off the computer, he glanced over and noticed this.

He just stared at her, and she stared at him.

Bill was still visibly bothered. It seemed strange to Jamie that he still was upset over Ellis talking during a lecture. 

Students did it all the time.

“Did you have any questions about today’s lesson?” Bill finally said. Tense as a rock.

Jamie didn’t speak for a moment. Considering the things she wanted to say.

“Yeah… are you okay?” 

The question came as a surprise to Bill. It had been nearly two and a half weeks. Feeling like he was a shitty professor, that he had crossed a line with a student, feeling tense around her for the strangest of reasons. He was stressed out and she was the reason, and he didn't like it one bit.

“I’m fine.” He said turning back to putting away his things.

He could hear Jamie getting up from her chair, and walking behind the other side of the desk where he stood. 

“I… I wanted to apologize for the conversation we had a couple of weeks ago. I blew it out of proportion. I thought… I thought you were judging me, and I know you weren’t.”

Bill turned around back to face her. Still silent.

“I completely misread what you were trying to say… I know that you were just looking out for me. It was stupid to take that kind of tone with you.” Jamie added.

His’s eyes softened for a moment. He wanted to hug her and tell her everything was okay.

But the truth was, he was aware of what it felt like to develop feelings for someone, and he recognized it when Jamie was in his presence. He ignored it for a while, but he noticed the way she made his stomach turn. It wasn’t anything he could control, because if he could, he wouldn’t allow himself to feel anything for her at all.

_ He liked his job. _

He wanted to be her friend, but there was a hidden reason  _ why _ he wanted to be her friend so badly. He needed to step back from her. It’s why he agreed to go out with Stephenie on Friday.

When Jamie saw that Bill still wasn’t making any effort to speak, she spoke again.

“I just… I care about how you think of me. I consider you a friend. I didn’t want you to think badly of me, so I reacted irrationally.”

Bill winced when she mentioned the word “friend.”

_ He didn’t want to say what he knew he had to say. _

“Jamie, I appreciate your apology. You haven’t done anything wrong, But you were right the first time. I’m your teacher and mentor. I can help aid you in your studies to prepare you for a career, but you shouldn’t think of me as your friend. There are protocols for a reason. I enjoy being your mentor  _ and _ your teacher, so let's leave it like that, Okay?”

It felt like he was breaking up with her. On both sides, they felt the pain.

But Jamie was good at hiding her disappointment.

“No, I know… you’re right. I like having you as a teacher. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

Bill could see the muscles in her face holding back the hurt. It killed him. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to have to say those things. He wanted to be her friend, he wanted to pull her in and tell her he didn’t mean it.

_ But he loves his job. And there can’t be anything that would lead to complications. _

If he became more of a friend to her, nothing would stop him from slipping up and showing how much he  _ really  _ cared for her. 

“You didn’t overstep, It was my fault for allowing it.” 

Jamie nodded, and tunred to grab her things, but before she walked out the door, she heard Bill’s voice once more.

“I care about how you think of me too. Just so you know”

It was a stretch, but it was the closest thing he could say to the real truth.

She paused, but didn’t look back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Students do a final table read before they head off to New York City in the next week.

**"Drink" - The Happy Fits**

November this year seemed to be a bit colder than it usually was. However, Bill wasn’t sure if the cold he was feeling was because of the change in weather, or the reoccurring shame that followed having to tell someone that you cared for that you couldn’t be friends with them because of some nonexistent rules and regulations.

Truthfully, there wasn’t a rule that professors couldn’t form friendships with their students as long as it didn’t interfere with the fairness of grading.

Except, there _was_ a rule that the faculty couldn’t have romantic relationships with their own students. If Jamie was a student at the business, music, or any other school on campus other than film, he could have swung it.

_Maybe._

Except the problem was that Jamie was a student here at this part of campus, and she was one of the few students who had real raw talent and potential to take her studies into the real world and excel. Bill wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it. Even if it meant hurting her feelings which killed him just the same.

He really wasn’t even sure if these feelings he was feeling for her were romantic or not. It felt romantic. 

It was the excitement he had when he went to work knowing he was going to see her, and the way his heartbeat would pick up if he felt her brush by him.

He waved it off as some kind of friendship for so long. But then the dreams came. 

_He knew he was screwed when he couldn't look at her without wanting to kiss her right then and there at any given moment._

He knew that something was up when he felt painful jealousy any time he saw her with another male student.

All of this extra precaution didn’t come from the possibility of something happening because he doubted she would ever be attracted to him. He was at least twenty years older, and compared to the students he would overhear talking about her, she could do better than him physically. 

The only thing he was really afraid of was him slipping up. Doing something that gave her every reason to see that his intentions were something more. Being close to her meant the possibility of her knowing what was going on in his head come to light. He couldn’t have that.

But Bill liked spending time with Stephanie. She was pretty and smart. He admired her creativity, and she was much closer to his age. He should feel lucky to have her. She didn’t understand his jokes sometimes, and couldn’t keep up with a conversation about movies, but she was nice. 

_He liked having her around._

So when she offered to come as a second chaperone considering some of her art students were also in the club and would be participating in the competition, he couldn’t say no.

Which led to the final meeting before their departure to New York in the next week.

It was the first Tuesday of November, and the members of the club were finalizing their scripts.

Tonight they were having their final read-through of the entire project. Next week they would head off to New York. After that, it was midterms, and a week off for Thanksgiving break. 

Bill could see the stress on every one of his student's faces. It was going to be busy and hectic, and he wished that he could ease their minds.

Jamie sat at the front of the room. Her eyes glaring down at the script. Gazing over any possible edits that needed to be made, but this time there was nothing. It was as perfect as it could have been.

Bill sat at the back of the room with Stephanie, Professor Han, and Dr. Anderson who was the department head.

The faculty all pitched the idea of seeing the group go through their last table read. Each one of them had spent the last week praising Bill for his efforts, and for having the idea in the first place. Dr. Anderson even hinted at the possibility of tenure. Bill seemed to have everything going for him, but it sucked because he wasn’t the one who was making things happen for everyone. It was Jamie. 

And so, the group began. Reading through the script. Ellis playing the part of Barry and Jamie playing the part of Sally Reed. A personality that Bill often thought matched Jamie’s perfectly in terms of how determined the character was.

Bill didn’t care for Ellis though.

That was bad casting in his opinion. 

Jamie read through the script. For a short film, she knew that there could be so much more to it. It could be adapted into a feature film series or even a TV show. If this managed to advance, she questioned the possibility of taking this idea with her when she graduated in May.

Jamie managed to get over her confusion and disappointment behind her conflict with Professor Hader. She knew it would be better to maintain a professional relationship. What kind of student wanted to be friends with their professor? She had plenty of friends, so losing a friendship with a 42-year-old man shouldn’t phase her. 

She also didn’t understand why Stephanie Smith, or better known as Dr. Smith, had to come along this trip. Yes, her students were involved with the club, but it would make more sense if one of the other film professors came along.

Most of her annoyance was because she had heard about the new budding romance between Professor Hader and Dr. Smith. It was all students could talk about. They all loved Professor Hader, and so seeing him involved with a woman out of his league made them want to root for the underdog.

In Jamie’s opinion though, Bill was out of Dr. Smith’s league. But of course, it wasn’t Jamie’s place to say.

She wasn’t his friend. He was her teacher. That's all.

They had kept things nice and civil. Sending emails back and forth regarding the payments for the trip and anything else to sort out for meetings, but it was strictly professional. 

Except their last in-person conversation didn’t sit right with her. It was too strange. He said he couldn’t be her friend, but somehow managed to be every other students' “Buddy.” Having the group call him “Bill.” Plus, she was friends with Dr. Slater, and the other professors knew that, and that was never a problem. None of it added up. If anything, she just assumed that maybe he didn’t like her and needed an excuse to limit his interactions with her. However, she could read his body language, and he always seemed eager to speak with her until now. 

Until she snapped at him and overreacted… 

_That must have been it._

Suddenly Jamie felt stupid. She was the one who had taken it too far. It would make sense that he thought she was too much at that point. 

But the last thing he said to her, the sadness in his voice when he told her that he cared how she thought of him as well, still made all of the pieces in the puzzle stick out.

_None of this makes any sense at all._

When the reading was over, the professors were on their feet clapping. Wide expressions of approval and bewilderment cascaded over the four of them.

She pushed back her thought war over her estranged professor for the moment and allowed herself to feel the success.

She _knew_ that the script was good.

It was the look on Bill’s face that made everything slow down in the room.

He was clapping, looking right at Jamie. A smile that could only be read as pride was directed back at her. They just stared at each other. Jamie found herself start to smile. At that moment there was a familiar feeling between the two. The reason why they had enjoyed each other's company for most of the semester for so long. 

Dr. Anderson made his way up to the room, addressing the rest of the students.

“I wish you all the best of luck next week, the script is phenomenal and I can’t wait to see where it takes you.” 

It wasn’t long before the meeting ended after a few more announcements were made.

There were five people left in the room. Ellis, Daniel, Jamie, Bill, and Stephenie.

“Dr. Smith! are you going to be coming with us?” Ellis asked among the group who were now huddled together. Daniel rolled his eyes. Bill had learned a while back that Daniel wasn’t much of a fan of Ellis. 

Ever since Ellis and Jamie began spending more time together, Daniel would come in his office ranting about it sometimes. Especially when Ellis managed to take his spot in the class.

Bill always nodded but never said anything.

If he did, he’d tell Daniel that Ellis was still a child in his eyes. Nice kid, but he agreed that he didn’t deserve Jamie’s attention.

“I will! I’m excited to see you guys complete.” She had this genuine niceness about her that Bill loved, and Jamie hated. 

Daniel’s face was mischievous when a thought popped in his head.

“You guys gonna share a room?” 

Stephenie’s face grew red, and Bill immediately glanced at Jamie, who had been staring at the floor for most of the conversation. She still didn’t care to look up.

“No,” Stephenie said with a nervous laugh. 

But Bill could feel her quickly look up towards him.

“We’ll be in separate rooms. If you guys have to be in separate rooms from the opposite sex, so do we.” Bill added.

“What a bummer,” Ellis said. Bill watched his eyes fall over in Jamie’s direction, and he watched her finally look up. Everyone in that group knew the reason behind Ellis’s playful (But slightly real) disappointment. 

Jamie smiled but looked uncomfortable. 

And Bill just looked pissed and annoyed. 

“Well, we should get going! I’m sure you guys have some studying to do.” Stephanie began as she attempted to whisk Bill away.

But Bill didn’t want to leave. He wanted to be alone with Jamie, he wanted to tell her how proud of her she was. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything he could do at the moment.

Stephanie wanted to spend a night in with him tonight, and she had been begging for a while now. Plus, Bill knew Ellis wasn’t going to leave Jamie’s side any time soon.

So they left. 

“You guys ever get the impression that Professor Hader doesn’t like you cause… I kind of feel like that all the time.” Ellis blurted.

“He probably doesn’t,” Daniel replied. 

_I don’t think he does either,_ Jamie thought.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO sorry it's been a while. I've been pretty busy. This is a shorter chapter, but hopefully I can get around to the next one soon!

It was 11:30 AM when the entire group got together in the lobby before boarding the plane. The flight was around 5 hours and 18 minutes from LA to New York City.

Everyone was chatting excitedly about being able to go on the trip while various plans to go out in New York City were made.

According to the plan Jamie had mapped out, they would depart at 12:30 PM and arrive around 9. She knew that there wasn’t much time for the students to do much tonight. Thursday was meant to be a travel day and a time to get situated before the next day. Jamie had made it clear with the rest of the group that once the competition was over on Friday, they would all have the time to go out that night, as long as they weren’t too hungover on Saturday when the results would be released at a breakfast planned for the participants in the competition. 

Jamie’s seat was in between Bill and Stephanie. It wasn’t exactly where she wanted to be, but being president of the organization meant that she had to spend most of her flight going over plans with her supervisors. 

Things weren’t as awkward anymore, but there was still slight animosity between the two. Truthfully, Jamie had gotten over the disappointment she was feeling, but it seemed that keeping distance from Jamie was torture for Bill.

He missed the lunches and conversations about new movies coming out. He missed the real, raw, and smooth topics that jumped back and forth between the two of them. It was a connection he found pretty rare in today's day and age, and being with a woman who didn’t have the same interests made that clear.

Ellis complained that his seat wasn’t next to Jamie. The two had finally entered a more romantic side of their relationship, but in Jamie’s opinion, it was rather bland. 

He was nice to have around and he made her laugh, but she seemed to be in the same boat in regards to the fact that she couldn’t have endless conversations with him about everything and nothing. He was there to kiss, a body to keep her warm, but she didn’t see a future. She liked him well enough though.

“I know that we’re all adults here, but should we be concerned about them switching rooms?” Stephanie asked while peering over Jamie and Bill in the cramped space. 

“You mean like guys and girls sneaking in their rooms in the middle of the night and having sex?” Bill asked. 

Jamie remained silent. 

“Yes,” Stephanie said sternly, but even Jamie could sense the slight hint in her voice. It was a concern for others, but not for her. 

Finally, Jamie broke her silence.

“Honestly, there isn’t anything we can do to prevent that. As long as they show up and have their head in the game for the competition, they can do whatever they want for all I care.” 

Both Bill and Stephanie took a long glance at Jamie, surprised to see her take on it.

There was a small feeling that entered Bill’s head. If Jamie wasn’t concerned about it, then it meant there was a chance that she wanted exactly that.  _ With Ellis. _

_ He also knew that he shouldn’t care about that anyway. _

When the flight took off, the majority of it was spent with the three going over plans, and when the conversation finally reached an end there was an awkward silence between them.

Stephanie wanted to be able to whisper things to Bill, but with Jamie sitting in-between them, it made it awkward. 

Bill wanted to talk to Jamie about everything and nothing again. He wanted to know how her classes were, how she was doing in general, but he felt like he burned any bridge left that lead towards her. 

Jamie just didn’t want to be there at all.

So when Stephanie excused herself to use the airplane bathroom, Bill took the opportunity to finally speak.

“Are you nervous?” His voice came out calm and cool, but it sent a shiver up Jamie’s spine. 

The look she gave him said everything that he needed to know. His bright blue’s crinkled as he smiled.

“You’re going to do amazing. You all will.”

Despite the heaviness that had been between them recently, Jamie couldn’t help but admire the support Bill had for her and the rest of his students. Never in her life had she met someone more attentive than he was. 

It was as if the ice had finally broken between them. Everything that had happened before seemed meaningless. They were about to spend four days in New York City and all of their hard work was starting to pay off.

Jamie couldn’t hide her excitement about the next few days, and she didn’t mind the fact. Bill could see it too. 

“Thank you.” She said finally.

Bill’s head cocked to the side in question, and he didn’t have to say anything for her to understand what he was trying to say.

“For coming up with this idea. I’ve never seen this group more excited and determined to do something for the entire four years that I’ve been here.” She answered.

When Bill’s hand reached over and covered hers, there was no denying the feeling between them anymore. He knew it, and she definitely knew it too.

“None of this would have been as successful without you. You’re a great leader.” He paused, looking down at her and taking in the emotion on her face. “They’re lucky to have you…  _ I’m  _ lucky to have you… as president.” 

Jamie wanted nothing more than to keep this moment in her mind forever, but there were still so many questions. Why did she have to feel this way? Regret began to consume her, and it led her to pull her hand away.

He could sense the tension right away and realized it was his actions, him pushing her away that made her so hesitant with him. 

“Jamie… look, about before, I didn’t mean the things I said to you.” 

Bill knew this was the worst time to say anything about their argument. The one that changed their dynamic. The one he regretted for weeks after.

He knew he would have to explain, and he knew it was a bad idea.

The hurt on Jamie’s face shined. She had been wanting to hear him say this. She wanted to know why. She wanted all of the answers, and he couldn’t run away. He  _ had _ to answer her.

“So then  _ why?”  _

Her eyes made cuts deep into his skin. He knew that ending the friendliness of their relationship was a knife set straight into her back. He told her he was going to be there for her, and he shut her out. He was supposed to be her knew Dr. Slater. He was supposed to be  _ better.  _ However, his emotions and the growing fear of not being able to hide them got in the way of that. It was selfish.

But before he could answer, Stephanie came back.

“Jamie, do you mind if I sit next to Bill?”

Her presence startled the both of them immediately. Stephanie stood there, bright and cheery. Having no idea about the thick tension surrounding the area.

“Sure, fine by me,” Jamie said.

And for the rest of the flight, Bill listened to Stephanie ramble on about things he honestly didn't care about and painfully acknowledged the silence coming from Jamie’s side.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama unfolds on the day of the competition.
> 
> "Oh, I can't  
> Stop you putting roots in my dreamland  
> My house of stone, your ivy grows  
> And now I'm covered  
> In you" - Ivy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm sorry it's been a while. I kind of lost motivation. I am trying to find a job currently, but I'm trying my best to continue this for the people who like it. Thanks for reading!

"Ivy" - Taylor Swift 

There was one rule that Jamie and her supervisor gave the students the night before the competition.

_ Do not go out. _

The reason behind this was because of the fear that some of the members of the group would end up drinking too much and show up in the lobby the next day hungover.

Despite their best efforts to prevent that outcome, however, it still happened.

They were due to meet in the hotel lobby at eight in the morning, and when three students — including Ellis— failed to show up, Jamie  _ knew. _

“He’s throwing up in the bathroom. The guy can hardly move.” Bill said as he made his way back to Jamie. Everyone was waiting patiently. The script could survive a reading without two of them, but Jamie mistakenly gave Ellis the part of “Barry” even though she knew he probably couldn’t handle that much responsibility.

She was angry. She had  _ told them  _ and Bill could immediately sense the turmoil growing inside of her. Trying his best to comfort the growing dismay, Bill rested his hand on her shoulder, letting her shoulders release the tension.

The night before, they had arrived at the hotel around ten-thirty at night. Jamie chose not to worry too much then because she knew that like herself, everyone else was too tired from an entire day of traveling to go out that night.

However, she should have made a note to keep closer tabs on Ellis and his friends. She knew this trip wasn’t important to him. He wanted a chance to see New York City like everyone else. She did too, but this competition was her top priority at the moment. It held the possibility for her to make moves toward her future career, and Ellis had spent months listening to her rant about how much she cared about it. The fact that he’s bedridden with the world's worst hangover proved that he didn’t actually care all that much about her or her goals.

_ She made a mental note to end things with him once this trip was over. _

“Bill, what do we do? He’s the lead.” Jamie’s desperation crawled out of her voice like a last plead for life.

Bill noticed that they were back on a first-name basis, and if he weren’t so worried about her well-being then and there, he would have allowed himself to feel the feelings he was feeling just to hear her say his name again. 

“There isn’t anyone else here who could take that part?” He asks.

Jamie soon for a moment, scanning the already small group, and each of their duties.

“I could, but everyone already has something else to do… the rules said one person per role.” At that moment she wanted to cry. She didn’t care who was watching. She wanted to scream and bare her knees to the ground and let the tears fall. She wanted every worry and anger to fall out of her system right there in the middle of the Marriott Hotel lobby.

“I’ll play Barry,” Bill said after a moment of brief silence.

Jamie’s eyes shot towards him in surprise. She quickly calculated whether he even could. It’s not like the judges would care. He easily could have been a student… maybe an older student, but a student nonetheless.

Her faith began to rest itself on her shoulders again. She knew he wouldn’t let her down. He cared about her and her future. It was his job.

-

After a final discussion and run through, the group stood outside  _ Conference Room B _ , ready to present their screenplay.

Bill — committing to the role he was playing — showed a newer and cleaner version of himself. A side of himself that Jamie had never seen before. The students hollered at the sharp change of clothing clinging to his skin. Jamie wasn’t surprised to see how Dr. Smith strode over to him, whispering something Jamie could only assume was vaguely on the dirtier side as she watched the expression in Bill’s face go from shock to subtle embarrassment.

“Shall we rock and roll?” He announced, serving a frenzy of laughter from the students. 

-

Despite the minor issues from that morning, the reading and presentation proved to be extremely successful, and Jamie knew she had Bill to thank for it

In the corner of her eye, she could see the approval on the judge's faces, generating warm and fuzzy feelings in the pit of her stomach.

Once they were done, the group of relieved students and their charismatic professor spilled out of the door and into the hallway. Voices laced in excitement shaped themselves down the hallway and back into the lobby.

Dr. Smith made her way to the coffee in hand and a hopeful expression on her face.

“How did it go?” 

Bill and Jamie’s eyes glanced towards each other, sharing soft smiles.

“It went really well.” She said almost too calm. The worst of it all was already over. All she had to do was wait for the results the next morning.

“It really was so good, you should have seen it,” Bill affirmed.

There seemed to be a small tinge of jealousy at the moment. Stephanie watched the way Bill looked at Jamie with so much affection and admiration. Something she had never seen when he had looked at her.

She felt foolish to think anything was going on between the two. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing her boyfriend would get into, but she knew Bill well enough to know that he shared many similarities with Jamie. She also wasn’t a bad looking girl, so why wouldn’t Bill feel something for her? 

She watched the way they were in meetings. Talking about things she never could understand. She loved art, she loved movies, but she knew she couldn’t sit there for hours going into depth about movies and their inner workings. She had other hobbies, other things she was interested in that just wouldn’t settle in the kind of relationship she and Bill were having.

_ How could a 24-Year-Old college senior get the genuine kind of attention from Bill Hader that she had sought after the entire time they had known each other. _

Though she was  _ with _ _ him,  _ she couldn’t help but feel like a second choice. She felt as if she were competing against everything else that stood in Bill’s way. 

“Are you guys going to celebrate with us tonight?” Jamie asked.

Bill noted how thrilling it was to see the more relaxed side of Jamie. She was happy.

“Yeah, we’ll be there,” Bill responded placing a small brush to her shoulder and then guided Dr. Smith up the stairs to get ready for later.

Jamie smiled to herself, watching them walk through the students, sharing their excitement. 

She thought for a moment that even if they didn’t win, this would be a favorite memory in her book. 

-

That evening the group found themselves at a bar just two blocks from the hotel. Others left for more exciting places, but there was something about the chill atmosphere that brought the rest to ease. 

Jamie sat on a stool beside the bar discussing “what if’s” with her friends when Bill came in with Dr. Smith

The students turned their attention and shouted with delight. Their favorite professor had finally arrived.

The first thing Bill noticed was the green, low cut, and long-sleeved, dress that Jamie was wearing. Her brown hair was up in subtle curls as she nursed a Whiskey Sour.

He made his way over completely forgetting about his date.

“You clean up nice.” Bill admired.

A small smirk formed on Jamie’s face. “It’s the first time I’ve actually had time to do myself up nice.” She seemed shy. Realizing that she was under the magnifying glass of Bill’s attention.

“Have you heard from Ellis since this morning?” Bill asked.

Jamie rolled her eyes, stirring her drink with her straw. Just the thought of Ellis at the moment couldn’t bring her mood down, but she had to admit her annoyance hearing his name again.

“He knows I’m mad at him. Went to the club with the other half of the group,” Jamie began, glancing around the room to make sure nobody else was listening to their conversation.

"I suspect he’s trying to avoid me,” She added. 

Bill’s eyes furrowed, slightly confused. 

“I meant… is he feeling better, but I guess he is if he’s going out again…” And now it was awkward.

_ That’s right, we don’t discuss personal lives anymore.  _ Jamie thought.

“Not that I wouldn’t want to hear about how you guys are doing… I’m just guessing it’s not going too well at the moment.”

Jamie saw the sheepishness in Bill first, then the uncertainty. But she could tell he was really trying to make things normal between them.

“You were right, he was kind of a waste of time.” 

When Jamie said this, she finally met Bill’s eyes for real. The both of them smiled an all too telling smile. The playful, out of the blue friendship was weaving its way back in.

“Interesting conversation?” Dr. Smith asked, inserting herself into their conversation.

There were a lot of things that had been happening on this trip that has led Jamie to wonder if there was more going on here than she had realized. She had been noticing the fall in Bill’s face when Dr. Smith came around, and she defiantly noticed the way his body language changed around her. 

She saw the subtle roll of his eyes, the tension flowing back into his body. A man who was once relaxed and in his element was now back on the edge of social combustion.

She felt weird thinking that she knew him well enough to know that he was no longer interested in his counterpart, but the truth in the matter was that she didn’t have the ability to not catch these things when he was concerned.

“Just discussing how the reading went,” Bill said turning to his girlfriend, handing her a drink.

_ No we weren't. _

“Yeah I keep hearing about it… makes me wish I could have been able to see it.” It was obvious that Dr. Smith felt left out, but she was the one who put herself in this position in the first place. She was the one who had insisted on helping a project that she had no real interest in. She just wanted to get closer to Bill.

“Maybe next time” Jamie commented quickly before turning her attention to someone else, not being able to deal with the awkward downfall of another relationship right in front of her.

Bill could sense the tension between him and Dr. Smith. As he laughed with students, he watched her from the corner of his eyes, glancing over at him.

He should have known she’d start to feel neglected. He tried hard to mask his recent knowledge of his lack of affection toward her, but she was smart and intuitive. There was no doubt in his mind that she would detect the difference in his interactions with her. Especially recently.

As the night went on, she clung to him like a sweatshirt, and he watched Jamie drink with her friends, laughing and telling jokes. Her true charming self finally escaping from inside her shell.

“Can we go back to your room?” Dr. Smith whispered in his ear.

He turned back to her realizing how drunk his counterpart was. He early paid any attention to how much she was drinking, but he figured she had already surpassed him at this point.

He wanted to stay and hear Jamie tell stories, but the pressure of doing what Dr. Smith pleased out of guilt won over.

“Bill, you’ve turned me down this entire trip…” She slurred. He could see it coming — the complaint, the observations she was making — it was about to come out.

“Don’t you want to spend time with me?” At this point, she sounded sad. He  _ had _ to turn his attention away from Jamie.

“Stephanie.” He warned.

Her short blonde hair was pulled back behind her ears, her cheeks red from the alcohol, big eyes guilting him into whatever she wanted him to do.

“Fine, let’s go.” Bill conceded, but Dr. Smith could tell it wasn’t the move he really wanted to make. Bill knew that she knew, and he knew it wasn’t her fault, but she just wasn’t the one for him.

On their way back, they walked in silence.

Once inside, Dr. Smith had pushed herself up against Bill, kissing down his neck.

Except Bill barely kissed back. He just wasn’t in the mood at that point. “Stephanie…” he reasoned, but she continues, attempting to take his jacket off.

“Yeah, Bill?” She moaned, but once she realized she was the only one trying, she stopped.

“Bill?” Her big eyes glanced through him again. 

Bill just stared at her for a moment. Unsure of what he wanted to say. 

_ Actually, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, he just didn’t know how to say it. _

“This is over isn’t it…” The mood immediately turned.

There was another silence again. Bill tried to look anywhere but her. He calculated scything he could say to make this easier for her. He didn’t want to do this here. He was sorry and uncomfortable. 

“Yeah… I’m sorry... I didn't know until I knew… I’m sorry.” It was all Bill could do, apologize, and hope she didn’t hate him forever.

He could see the tears start to form in her eyes. 

“Can I ask why?”

His heart broke to hear the break in her voice.

“I don’t know honestly, I just… something changed.” 

His eyes bore into the ground in shame. He wished his feelings were normal. He wished he could just take her into his arms and settle down with her. She just wasn’t what he wanted.

“So then what changed?” She asked.

_ “I don’t know.” _

“You’re lying.” 

He had never seen her refuse to accept something before. She was usually pretty easy going, but at this moment she was determined to get the truth out of him, but Bill knew better than to give her that information.

“I’m not lying, I just don’t think this is going to work out in the long-run.” He watched as the frown on her face grew deeper.

“Is there someone else?” 

_ “No.” _

“Are you sure? Because you’re distant and you’ve been pulling away from me this entire trip, and I just don’t understand why it was so sudden. Everything was fine a few days ago.”

When he didn’t give her any explanation, she asked the question again.

“ _ Is _ there someone else?”

Bill rarely got frustrated, but he felt himself getting frustrated with her.

“Who? Who else would there be? Stephanie, I’m sorry, but the reason is that I’m just not interested, and I’m sorry I have to put it that way, but you deserve the truth.” It was like he was solving a puzzle. Trying to find his way around a formula or a maze to avoid this conversation at all costs.

“What about Jamie? You told me you guys used to grab lunch together almost every day. You said she stopped when I started coming around. I see the way you look at her. Don’t treat me like I’m crazy to think that something is going on there.”

_ This was the moment of his downfall. _

“I mentor her, she’s my student.”

“ _ Nobody _ looks at their student like that. Not if they are _ just _ a student.”

Bill’s hands went up to his face, plastered in annoyance.

“Steph… she’s a talented young woman, and I just think she has a real career in film. I’m trying to mentor her.” Bill's voice rose which sent Stephanie a few steps back.

“I mean… of course I am fond of her, but come on… you insinuating that I am having an affair with my own student is ridiculous.” He was doing everything he could to protect himself at this point. Everything else was irrelevant.

When she realized she was never going to get the answer she was looking for, she turned left.

He made a mental note to apologize to her later, but the fear of his true feelings being discovered consumed him in the presence of his hotel room.

**_ ———- 2:45 AM _ **

Bill had attempted to sleep after the break-up, but he couldn’t bring himself to fall under for that long.

After another hour of staring at the ceiling, he changed his clothes and headed downstairs to the hotel bar.

The bar was mostly dead and realizing that call was nearly an hour ago, Bill had labeled himself as defeated.

But in the corner of the room, by herself, was Jamie Andrews.

“Shouldn’t you be out at the clubs with everyone else?” Bill teased.

Jamie looked exhausted. Next to her on the table was a single glass and an entire bottle of wine that she must have ordered earlier.

“Shouldn’t  _ you  _ be sleeping, or spending a night in with Dr. Smith?”

“Well, honestly I don’t think Dr. Smith really wants to see me at the moment.” Bill knew it was personal, but he knew he could trust her with the information.

“Yeah… I saw her in here a while ago. She looked mad, kept glaring at me and my friends.” 

“And where are those friends now?” Bill asks. 

Jamie, clearly drunk, looked around the room pretending to look for the people she knew weren’t there anymore.

“They went to bed. I couldn’t sleep though.”

“Why can’t you sleep?” He was quizzing her now. He wanted to know how her night was, what happened when he left. 

“Nervous about tomorrow… and honestly I’m just kind of curious… what did you do to piss Dr. Smith off? or… no, I’m sorry ‘ _ Stephanie’. _ ”

Normally Bill wouldn’t answer a question so bold, but since it came from her, he couldn’t refuse her curiosity. 

“We had an argument… might have broken up. It’s all a blur really.”

Jamie looked up, smiling a wide teethed grin. “Well… I’m a little drunk if I’m being honest, and I knew you’d probably be down here at some point, so I went ahead and ordered a bottle of wine. Felt like you could use a friend to talk to.”

This conversation probably would have crossed many lines if his bosses were here watching the exchange between them at the moment, but he didn’t care.

“Oh? You knew I’d be down here? How's that?” His demeanor, playful and flirty.

Jamie smiled again, moving her head just a few inches from his face. 

“I  _ know  _ you.” 

Bill could smell the Whiskey in her breath. He knew how many lines he had already crossed, and he was hyper-aware of the lines he could cross in the future, but something about the atmosphere in a deserted bar gave Bill the privacy to let the curtain draw just a little bit while he was in her presence.

_ It was also because of alcohol. _

“I know a spot up on the roof.” Was all he had to say to persuade Jamie to follow him up.

-

As they made their way to the secret door out on top, Jamie finally took into consideration that he even knew how to get up here.

“So how do you know about this place exactly?” 

“I lived in New York for a while… I’ve been to this hotel with some friends who worked for SNL.”

“Shut up!” She said exasperated. 

Her shock caused her to trip slightly on the steps, sending Bill to her side to catch her.

Bill lent a hand to her waist and another to her free hand, as she carried the bottle in her left.

“Please don’t die,” Bill begged.

“You know people who worked for SNL? You never told me this!”

Bill chuckled, “It never really came up.”

Jamie rolled her eyes and rested on the balcony of the hotel's rooftop.

“Don’t you think that would have been something you could have told your students when we first met you?” 

“I mean, I was friends with two good ones, and they’re off writing….. oh.” Bill hardly ever thought about his days back in New York City. He had been so thick the entire time, realizing he had a connection to help his students. He had been so preoccupied with not showing that he cared too much about one  _ particular _ student, that he hadn’t even thought about his past. His old friends, his ex-wife, all the people who had broken him down in the past. 

“We don’t really talk much anymore.”

“What happened?” Jamie asked, poking, and prodding into his skin.

“I mean, one of them is out of the job currently, and I haven’t spoken to John in years. We just grew apart, plus my divorce changed a lot of things.” He reasoned.

Jamie nodded, understanding the predicament he was in.

“Well…. Just so you know, if you ever do get back in touch with them… You have to tell ‘em about me.” Jamie halfway jokes.

“For you? Anything.” Jamie finally made eye contact with Bill, wanting to swim through the blues inside them. 

They just stared at each other for a while. Not sure what to say, but not wanting to leave either.

There was something that Jamie needed to get off her chest, only realizing that the time was then to ask him. She had the liquid courage to figure out what exactly was pulling her towards is direction. 

“Bill… what’s happening here?” She asks seriously. 

Bill — taking a swig from the bottle of wine between them — found himself taken aback by the question.

“What do you mean?”

Jamie glared at him.

“You know what I mean…”

And he knew that she knew. This trip had revealed things that they wouldn’t have seen back home. The lack of confining university walls stopped blocking their view.

“I don’t know…” and he wasn’t lying. He wasn’t sure what was going on. Up until this moment, he didn’t even realize that she was aware. He was still trying to figure things out himself. 

There was a long silence between them. Neither said a thing. They just stare out into the city thinking in between the quiet.

“Do you think I want to feel this way?” Bill says suddenly. 

“So you feel something?” Jamie responds. Sharp eyes piercing into the skin of her current opponent.

_ Another pause. _

“Yes.”

Hearing the answer straightforward gave Jamie a buzz of apprehension. 

She knew that she wanted to know this information, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with it.

He could sense her overthinking, but there wasn’t much he could say. He was just as confused. 

Jamie glanced down at her phone, checking the time.

“It’s nearly four… I should get some sleep.” Bill’s turned to protest, but her back was already turned against him. 

“Jamie…” Bill started, but after realizing he didn’t know what to say, he trailed off.

halfway towards the door, Jamie stopped herself and turned back.

“I know how you feel, okay?” She began, pacing slightly in front of him.

“I do… it’s just not something I expected.” She adds.

Bill nodded, trying to be as cautious as possible. 

“I didn’t really plan on it. This isn’t a thing that has happened before…” He pressed.

There was another silence, but something was building itself inside.

And just like clockwork, Jamie stepped towards him and kissed him.

It only took Bill a second to register what was happening and another to decide if this was something he was going to engage in. 

Despite all moral compasses, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, carefully biting the bottom of her lip.

At this point, they were aware of the chemistry between them that subtly placed itself around them all these months. Another reason why they could find themselves talking for hours, reading each other's minds.

And when Jamie finally began to sober up, she pulled away. Staring at the man in front of her.

Going back and forth between fight or flight, Jamie slowly turned away again, making her way back inside, leaving Bill Hader standing there feeling shocked and speechless on a hotel rooftop. 


End file.
